The heart of a champion

I've gone on an emotional rollercoaster since the night before results were released. Hot flashes, fear, confidence, heart beating out of my chest. Falling asleep but yet wide awake. I ended up sleeping with one eye open that night and woke up at every hour - a miserable experience. And then the moment came, but the servers were clogged. I was pushing refresh on my browser every 30 seconds - helplessly. Finally, a single line on my email inbox appeared - and it was the moment that was long awaited. I didn't want to open it. Some part of me likes the feeling of the adrenaline rushing through my veins. I remember that in all of our supposed aspirational intellect, we are but animals. Something about being reduced to something so simple makes life fun in an otherwise groundhog existence. So i divert my attention to the hypotheticals - I have it all planned out. If I fail, its okay. If I pass, its okay. I have a backup plan for everything. And that's when the animalistic instinct started to disappear. I double clicked on the email and started to scroll down slowly, one click at a time. Until it revealed something that would in fact change life. And the adrenaline came swooping in again without reservations... I never did get back to sleep.

The storm before the calm

Let's take a second to think about what's important. I've got a great family, a solid core of friends and a job in this recessionary climate. Someone decided that I am worthy of a warm bed tonight. So I want to give thanks for what I have, and ask for assistance in being steadfast - no matter what the outcome.

The weekend before

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick.......................... tock. The reluctant hands of the clock decide to slow and let me endure each painful repetitious rotation of its inner mechanics. Why can't I just have my way with time? What a remarkable thought - the ability to go back and forth as I please. Imagine turning the clock to Monday afternoon having no anxiety or distress over the then past moment of dreaded anguish. If only I were so lucky. 

So perhaps a change in outlook might be advantageous. How about we say fuck it! Enjoy these last moments before the torture of flipping page after page of indifferent text books continue. When I study, I mindlessly force feed information into my head hoping that the neurotransmitters will do my bidding. When in fact they suffer from my neglectful mistreatment. Let's give them a chance - a dose of the glory days! Soak in the sun, make use of your time, the great outdoors! Because in all likelihood - you will pass - and you will be subject to a world of dismay going forward. Bittersweet isn't it?

One step at a time and in the end you have another few letters after  your name. But what does it really matter when you can't enjoy the more simple things in life? So let's give it one last hoo-rah. One last blissful weekend of freedom!

The Tensions are High

If you've come looking for a comforting article to ease your concerns going into the next week, heed my warning - this isn't the place for you. You see, zoloft would love to have me as a customer. As the results day is approaching in what seems like Ussain Bolt-like speeds, I'm reduced to a nervous sorry excuse for an audit associate. The waiting game has rendered my cynical persona delirious - and no pharmacist could cure my delusions. Who would have thought that ACCA exams could invoke a out-of-body, out-of-mind experience such as this? But I digress. 

The funny thing is, I believe I would make a great accountant - I tend to over-analyse everything. As such, I've taken the opportunity to weigh in on my perceptions of the last exam sitting in the grand scheme of things.

I've sat two papers in the past exam sitting: Audit and Assurance (f8) and financial reporting (f7). These exams have an average pass rate of 46% and 35% respectively. So based on these statistics alone, theres an 84% chance that I will be spending Monday morning on carrying out extraneous measures to avoid my performance manager. Also implied, there is an 84% chance that I will not pass my exams in the duration of the required tenure to apply for membership to the ACCA. In my firm, it's quite common for an associate to receive a promotion to senior on admission to ACCA membership. Along with this promotion comes a  60% pay increase. Without disclosing my earnings, I've come to the conclusion that the expected present value of the opportunity cost (six months of increased pay) of failing one of these exams will be quite substantial. Not to mention, there are certain potential employers that recruit and reward those with all first time passes. I suppose it might also be a good time to think about the consequences for those of you looking to get an honors degree from OBU. Needless to say, there is much riding on the line for every one of these devilish little exams. I wish I had kept that in mind when I was preparing. Instead the brain cells tumbling around in my cranium were as spaced out as the last bowl of honey nut cheerios floating lifelessly  around my spoon. 

So as your results come in - remember how f*cked you are if you don't pass.